Employee Talent Showcase:
Lea Ann and i have decided to call these "maloquialisms", a combination of "malapropism" and "colloquialism" we created in October 2005. Not only are they mis-uses of colloquialisms, but they often become a colloquialism in their own right, despite being wrong. Or maybe they are so wrong, that they must be right?

Regardless, the top list is all attributable to one highly prolific man, to whom we all look up to and say "wha?!?!?". The Honorary List represents great maloquialisms, but the utterers are mere pretenders to the throne of linquistic absurdity. (Though i must say, dt and mm are making a strong showing on their own.)

1.   I love it when a plan comes uncovered
2.   is that HST or Greenwich Village Time
3.   Nameless Faces
4.   ...like pulling nails
5.   grace us with his honor
6.   all the bars are closed (~ lights are on & nobody's home)
7.   it's a doggy dog world
8.   throw more flames on the fire
9.   it's like the kettle.. uh ....
10.   lower your voice a couple of octals
11.   Preaching to the preacher
12.   for your fyi
13.   a good aspiration for you to obtain (also, you just aspirate to be like me)
14.   head them off at the path...What?? What is it??
15.   beggars can't be choosy (a.k.a., beggars can't be choosers)
16.   put a plug in his ear
17.   ISM: the candy system (not "can do")
18.   pay Peter to pay Paul
19.   pay Peter to rob Paul
20.   I want her head on my trophy mantle (head on a platter)
21.   you're piping to the piper
22.   we'll burn that bridge when we get there
23.   I've got a lot of stuff to take credit for!
24.   ... a force of one (Darryl)
25.   sounds like the silent type
26.   if I only had the hindsight
27.   just throw it over the door
28.   its like six eggs and a chicken
29.   put it into the kitty pool
30.   living on the hog
31.   you win some and some and sometimes not
32.   sometimes you have to admit that Picasso was a great painter (a.k.a., the writing's on the wall)
33.   tick on the tail (tail wagging the dog)
34.   Don't get your feathers in a bunch
35.   I need two eyes on this

Honorary List:
dt:   those two are like vinegar and oil-- they just don't go together   pre-2001
rr:   the neighbor's grass is always greener   pre-2001
dt:   That's no hair off my back   pre-2001
sf:   It's like whistling in the dark   pre-2001
yb:   Well, we beat that with a dead horse   pre-2001
sf:   I can hear the writing on the wall   pre-2002
dt:   Call me butter because I'm on a roll!   pre-2002
dt:   You're opening a can of hairballs.   pre-2002
hz:   He's the weakest pole in the tent.   pre-2003
ta:   Sign on the bottom line. (a.k.a., sign on the dotted line)   pre-2003
js:   I am trying to vamp up a little. (a.k.a., ramp up...)   2003
ta:   Certs me. (a.k.a., Search me...)   winter 2004
ta:   Throw a hole in it. (a.k.a., Throw a wrench in it...)   summer 2004
mm:   get all your eggs in a row. (a.k.a., get all your ducks in a row)   sept 2004
mm:   they keep us on our hands and toes. (a.k.a., they keep us on our toes. not sure i like where else that might end up...)   sept 2004
mm:   he's not working with a full basket. (a.k.a., he's not playing with a full deck)   oct 2004
cp:   d'ya mean? (a.k.a., do you know what i mean?)   2004
mm:   put my neck out on a limb (a.k.a. neck on the line / going out on a limb - not sure which he meant)   nov 2004
mm:   getting out the banjo (a.k.a. playing a violin for you)   nov 2004
rg:   i think we are on ball (a.k.a. "on target" or "on the ball")   jan 2005
rg:   make sure we're ahead of the ball (a.k.a. "ahead of the game")   jan 2005
mc:   i am good at throwing a wrench in the fork (a.k.a. "throwing a wrench in the works")   21 july 2005
lam:   i didn't want to give them the 9th inquisition (a.k.a. "the third degree")   october 2005
mm:   "i'm putting my stake in the sand." (a.k.a. "i'm putting a stake in the ground")   april 2006
mm:   "...well you know, it's a two way door." (a.k.a. "it's a two way street")
brought to you by the good people who brought you quality malapropisms like "That's no hair off my back"
  april 2006
sr:   "i'm afraid this dog don't bark." (a.k.a. "this dog don't hunt")
brought to you by the highly paid consultants at IBM
  july 2007
kf:   "they even have text analysizing software." (a.k.a. "text analyzing")
brought to you by the people teaching your children in high school in virginia
  july 2007
kf:   "pediological" (a.k.a. "pedagogical", as in "of or having to do with teaching")
again, brought to you by the same people teaching your children in high school in virginia
  july 2007
?itil?:   "degradated service" (a.k.a. "degraded service")
courtesy of the people making sure that your service does not "degradated"...
  july 2007